life is such a drama

I wanna be loved

emo at times. i might get bitchy. love having money. hate having money but nothing to buy. love being random. love bags. a sucker for pretty shoes. love flipflops. hate ppl staring at me. love staring at ppl. hate stupid ppl. pissed me off and i'll ~~cut u bitch~~ try to forgive. trying to be a better person each day

My Bitches

Ian Laaaa
Jeremy,the self obsessed
Psycho Juneyy
Saiful the Deep One

Currently

Feeling: sleepy

Listening to: white house-Michelle Branch

Wishing: that i strike lottery whenever i buy them!haha

I must NOT: eat everything i seee

Fun Link

Pink is the new Gossip
Hollywood Rag
Pee-Pee Hilton

Speak To Me

Past Rants

November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
March 2006
April 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
March 2007

Wednesday, November 29, 2006
I love YOU to love me

I've been up studying.its like 6.36 now.. guess I just wanna relax a lil as my unconscious consciousness is still studying..I really should be thinking ideology and talking about hegemony but well, should have started studying last week.. I guess I am thankful huh.. for getting a second chance as not everyone get a second chance.. miss Tarshini called and she ask me to study! thats really nice of her.. And I reading my previous post, all those rage.. I know.. sound so stupid now right but thats how I feel at that time, I din't let it out, I just wanted release it from my heart.. oh well hahahaha.. so life isnt so baddd but from today onwards, I must say NO to Dunkin Donuts.. cause its fattening and its unhealthy and I've been eating like erm 2-3 of it few times a week.. geeeeeee I'm fatty already. I guess Im really looking forward for holidays.. and before I can kickstart it, I think I wanna go back to my study.. which is kinda pressuring because the lecturer itself called n ask to study.. BUT better than cannot sit for exam at all rite?

p.s- thank God for answering my prayers, doing all the impossibles and love me eventho I'm unworthy..

pick me.choose me.love me @* 2:28 PM
1 order of excitement, peppered with anticipation.

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Sunday, November 26, 2006

I must let this all out before you drives me crazy.. I swear I was about to fucking slap you black face when u keep talking about" dont compare yourself with others" .. What do you fucking mean by dont compare? I deserve to know why is it like that!! I think you are so bitchy, you deserve to be slap and punch on daily basis.. I was pulling your ugly hair so hard deep inside my head. You are fucking unreasonable that I think from now on, unreasonable people should go to jail. I know if I'm some big shot's daughter, or rich, or smart, or nice or anything that fits your standard, you'll treat me NICE bitch..

U told her u'll give another chance and then you're telling another shit today which really pissed me off. You deserve to be hang for not keeping your promise! I think you hate me but its ok, I hate you too. gee I dunno man, all i can think about now is slapping your black face... and your so fucking racist man cibai.. u should be sack and sent to indon to pick up rubbish man! people your rank, i thought would be at least reasonable or i dunno.. REASONABLe?? cibai.. give me some stupid excuse.

Man, if I wasnt controlling myself, I think I would have slap your face.. the action which I repeated so many times in my head and I wish you feel the pain.. man.. If i dont care about it, you think I would be bother to come and ask? Its okay for me to dont care, but I wanna do better thats why.. and I screwed up once, ur giving me this kinda shit? And why am I still talking about you??!? I just need to get this off my chest so please ignore this post.

I am in such a bad mood now.. I think life just suck sometimes.. yeah with everyone telling me its no big deal. shut the fuck up. gosh I'm so emo right now I think i wanna slap her again..n again.. which of course in reality it's something I wouldnt bring myself to do.. How everyone blame things on me.. I wish I had a better life.. I wish..I wish..I wish.. for so many impossible things..

I hate myself.. for not being what everyone wans me to be.. why do I have such a bad temper.. gee i dont know, its in the blood.. why can't I be smarter? why am I not nice? So here I am, unable to forget about it and unable to express how I feel because I can't slap her in real life. Fucking hypocrite.. Reallly, I dont enjoy blogging about this. I wish I can feel better but I can't..

Much better after I rant about this! after a while, I guess I'm really chilled right now. I just pray that God will soften her heart and unbarred me..

pick me.choose me.love me @* 11:25 PM
1 order of excitement, peppered with anticipation.

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Monday, November 20, 2006

"I know I'm not a lot of things that you've gone for in the past - I know, but I would never leave you. I would never hurt you. And I will never stop loving you... "

pick me.choose me.love me @* 4:50 AM
0 order of excitement, peppered with anticipation.

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Saturday, November 18, 2006
shopping post!!

"At this moment there are 6,470,818,671 people in the world. Some are running scared. Some are coming home. Some tell lies to make it through the day. Others are just not facing the truth. Some are evil men, at war with good. And some are good, struggling with evil. Six billion people in the world, six billion souls. And sometimes�
all you need is one."

Yeah so i was too tired to continue my post yesterday.. anyway jeremy bought.. erm.. bangles, necklaces, earrings, bikini, skirt..tops.. so this is gonna be a shopping post todayy!! :)

before that.. check out this Ikea icecream.. June and I totally make them worth rm4!

see.. I pile them high high up!!

and we can't finish it....

faux Chanel 5 necklace. its really classy

Tusk necklace. kinda cool.

I love this the most!!! Praise Jeremy for buying them.

earringgs.. lots of themm

lotsa banglesss

i love this necklace!

isn't this skirt prettyyy.. i love polka dots

hmm i dint take a pic of the bikini and a few more topss.. wait until next week.. got moreeee stuff for meeee!!

pick me.choose me.love me @* 9:51 PM
0 order of excitement, peppered with anticipation.

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Friday, November 17, 2006

"Did you ever look at a picture of yourself and
see a stranger in the background? It makes you
wonder how many people have pictures of you."

I should post something before my connection die on me.. like really.. it can be gone like a few minutes later and come back alive the next few days.. damn emo man my phone line.. anyway.. jeremy the handsome is back.. back with my polka dots n stripes bikini.. i tihnk i'll love them.. hahaha.. well i would be seeing him in another 2 hours but I think I'm too excited that hahaha i woke up at 7 am today.. aiyo no la.. think I no life? I think prolly because i slept too early ysterday.. Isit true that my blog takes forever to load? :( aiyo maybe cause ermm too many people trying to load my blog ? hahahahaha.. omg.. i think i never wanna go offline because I dont know when my connection gonna get emo again.. and even if I dont do anything online, I just love the fact that I'm online.. haha the first thing I do after I wake up is to on my computer. I can't imagine living without it really.. it would be so bored. I need my daily dose of gossips..What am I gonna talk about today? gee i really don't know..its not even quarter of the day yet so I'll update more at nite ..thats if my connection would allow me to

pick me.choose me.love me @* 7:00 PM
0 order of excitement, peppered with anticipation.

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Tuesday, November 14, 2006
the heart has reasons that reason dont know

If you watch One Tree Hill..

Haley: The good news is you did better and the bad news is better is a "D".
Nathan: Yeah I guess I didn't really give this one my best shot.
Haley: What's going on with you?
Nathan: Well you know me and Peyton broke up.
Haley: Peyton and I.
Nathan: Well she broke up with you too? I didn't know she was going to take it this hard. She went off on Brooke at practice. I'm kinda worried about her.
Haley: Well maybe you should have worried about her more when you were together. I'm sorry, but come on it's true.
Nathan: No you don't know the first thing about Peyton and I.
Haley: Ahem... me and Peyton.
Nathan: Whatever.

pick me.choose me.love me @* 11:44 PM
0 order of excitement, peppered with anticipation.

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Does this darkness have a name?
This cruelty, this hatred, how did it find us?
Did it steal into our lives or did we seek it out and embrace it?
What happened to us that we now send our children into the world like we send young men to war, hoping for their safe return, but knowing that some would be lost along the way.
When did we lose our way?
Consumed by the shadows.
Swallowed whole by the darkness.
Does this darkness have a name?
Is it your name?

pick me.choose me.love me @* 10:35 AM
0 order of excitement, peppered with anticipation.

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the never ending pursuit of shoes and bagss..

This post gonna be about shoes and bags!!! Two things a girl can't live without! well.. for some at least.. I should be doing my assignments now.. its just so fun looking at shoes and bags..heehehehe..

isn't she pretty? i almost cry when i saw this. so the drama rite..hahahaha! *sob sob*
can't u guys see the polka dot on the inside?!?! i love polka dots~~!

a red go-jane.. red pumps are almost a neccesity nowadays.. "That's hot"..
wahhh like chinese new year like that..

this baby would look great while clubbing!! beware tho, it might get all the attention from the guys!
this is really so the drama.. but its still pretty~~!!

hehe .. same as above..just different colour..hehe..but its so pretty!!

brings out the wild side of u!! this is really hot! i tried something like this and they look absolutely stunning!

a sneakers that i would wear. i "don't" wear sneakers but this is so cute. the whole preppy girl look..love the smiley face!!
dont it just remind you guys of jeremy's car? hehehe only cleaner :)

this is a lv leopard print bag.. errr..u can pay a car deposit with it.. but she's so pretty!!

this is lv also.. but a classic wan.. u can never go wrong with this!!

im a sucker for scarfs bag.. its so classy.. its so sex in the city!

this Dior baby.. look so good on its own!! great for shopping or casual moments!!

I love this bag.. so pretty..pushing the fact that i love white, this one is a must have.. just like a girl's lil black dress.. only in white :)

this is another Chloe.. so simple and pink!! absolutely girly!!

hey now.. dont judge her by her colour!!.. its really really pretty k.. its a classic!! look really great with jeans!!

i absolutely love this bag.. it screams classy, chic and fun! love it!!

she's pretty too.. i love the shape.. come on.. its Chanel!!

another classic Marc Jacobs bag.. who wanna be a celebrity?.. just use this bag!!

i forgot the brand of this baby.. but isn't she lovely?? i would use it for work or shopping!!
oh yeah its a Luella!!

pick me.choose me.love me @* 4:37 AM
0 order of excitement, peppered with anticipation.

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Monday, November 13, 2006
yummyyy!

I shouldn't be blogging, I should be doing my assignments.. OMG showed Mr Khong my film studies draft, he dont wan me to use "color", it should be "colour"..geez.. i blame it on microsoft word. Then Im supposed to do my creative strategy assignment but I'm starting to wonder if that 5 marks make a different. errr.. yeah it does so im gonna do it..

i wanna eat so many things now.. so this post is gonna be about food!! i know i know.. why am i wasting time googling food pics n all..i wanna eat Chili's dessert!! I've been making milo for myself over n over again.. I drank a lil.. left it there.. then it got all cold n all, so i wash it, and make another milo.. hahahahaa..

so these are the food i wanna eat now.. (in non alphabetical order cause i love food!)

Tiramisu.. i love tiramisu from Delicious Cafe!!

I love strawberrryyyyy... wahhhhh... im sipping my milo louder now..

isnt this a great way to kickstart ur day? yum yummmmm

i love chocolate cakeee..especially with banana.. secret recipe serve really nice ones.

I love lambshank... i can eat lambshank every day.. "eh waiter, tabasco sauce please"

good ol' roast chicken.. best served with flavoured rice, mashed potato, baked beans and macaroni!!!! wahhh i finish my miloo!

lasagna.. alot alot alot of cheesee.. and brown sauce.. and hot hot hot!!!! wahhhhh.. im gonna make somemore milo!!!!

if dont eat all that..u might look like this..hahaha..

ok lah.. milo also i dont wanna drink edi...

hahah at the end of the post.. its complete meaningless..

pick me.choose me.love me @* 5:12 AM
0 order of excitement, peppered with anticipation.

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Sunday, November 12, 2006
Mahalllnyaaaa!

Lol I dint know everytime someone sms you from Bangkok, they are charged rm1. And when u call them, they are charged rm3 per minute.. pity jeremy.. so now i've been sending sms-es without reply.. i miss him so much today.. ermmm he said he bought me flipflops and tops..hehehe.. and I re-invent Shaiful's blog.. making it more personal.. hope he likes it.. and my head is spinning n spinning.. I think because i spend too long infront of the computer..

so guys, check out Shaiful's new blog aightt! cause its now alive back!

so missing him.5 more days to go!

pick me.choose me.love me @* 5:23 AM
0 order of excitement, peppered with anticipation.

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Mahalllnyaaaa!

Lol I dint know everytime someone sms you from Bangkok, they are charged rm1. And when u call them, they are charged rm3 per minute.. pity jeremy.. so now i've been sending sms-es without reply.. i miss him so much today.. ermmm he said he bought me flipflops and tops..hehehe.. and I re-invent Shaiful's blog.. making it more personal.. hope he likes it.. and my head is spinning n spinning.. I think because i spend too long infront of the computer..

so guys, check out Shaiful's new blog aightt! cause its now alive back!

love ya baby.. muaks..

pick me.choose me.love me @* 5:23 AM
0 order of excitement, peppered with anticipation.

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Saturday, November 11, 2006
chemical romance- Welcome to the black parade

For the hundred sixty five times I've been telling myself that I'm so freaking bored. I am infact that bored so don't be suprise if i change my blog layout again.. but again, I am that lazy. Jeremy bought me bikinis!! well I haven't have my QC (quality control) yet, but I'm sure they are pretty since erm.. he has such a great taste I must say, ahem in choosing me..Wahahaahha. You see , I am that bored now. I hate doing my assignments. They are soo boring especially the one where I have to critic the film and the technique. My post for the whole week gonna be about how much I miss him because I really really do miss him. Of course, I will fill you guys in with the details of my boring week.

Did u guys know how much I hate waiting at the saloon whenever I'm doing treatment or something to my hair. I felt like its a total waste of time but heeshhh, I love the result. I really regret cutting my hair. I wished I dint do it but thank God, its getting longer now. Aiyer, I wish I have bibi here to hug n smell.. I love smelling Jeremy cause he smells like baby.. hehe.. omg I'm gonna start gettin all cheesy and corny! But wahhh I so excited for Jeremy to come home so that I can see what he bought for me.. wahhhhhhh.. im so excited now.

see i sound like such a dork now..haha. okay people, this is the end of my boring post. 6 more days to go. :) toodles.

pick me.choose me.love me @* 5:20 AM
0 order of excitement, peppered with anticipation.

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Thursday, November 09, 2006
running through my head

Yes, its ~~another~~ new layout. I was looking for the best and i found one. Its pretty simple but i love the whole crown thing. I was just reading my posts and gee din't i come across like a pessimist. Its just that it haven't been a great week and to top it all, im barred from one of my class. This is my first time being barred and I hope it will be the last. Man, what a great thing to kickstart my weekend. Jeremy haven't even left to Bangkok yet but I'm already missing him. Alot. I was planning in my head what am I gonna do next week and i really really dread it. Who's gonna tell me ~~racist~~ silly jokes for a week?

I love having him around, even when we're not doing anything fun at all. I just love the fact he's by my side. So many things that I need to do! Gotta start getting my studies on track as I don't wish to repeat the history of studying last minute for exam. I have tons of assignment to pass up..and presentation..to get myself unbarred for MCS.. study for finals..

I gotta admit that I enjoy reading gossips. I like to see where they spend 3 million on a gown, ~~Paris Hilton~~ exposing ~~her~~ their private parts till the whole world knows how it look like, being famous because of a leak sex tape, for being thin and most of the time, for doing nothing.

Malay Mail published an apology to those who read their "sex" edition newspaper the other day where the whole newspaper is about sex. I personally don't find anything wrong about it. Its good fun and featured some really interesting articles. I think maybe its time Malaysia gotta accept topic like this. Not writting about sex doesn't mean that the young boy who read about it won't ~~fuck around~~ do it, silly.

Everyone should just admit they love sex.

I'm missing him and I wanna be unbarred from MCS.

pick me.choose me.love me @* 5:29 AM
0 order of excitement, peppered with anticipation.

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Tuesday, November 07, 2006

im just gonna take a break from my hectic assignments and blog a lil.. now i almost wish i did the recording so that i dont have to write the report..hahahaha.. i change my blog layout because Xiu Foo was complaining that my font is very small. so i change into a more er femine and emo one. i thought the artist did a really good job with the brushes. i love the effect! maybe sometimes, its easier not to care so much for others. to protect yourself from getting hurt too. but if u dont care, they'll say that ur so insensitive. but the truth is, you care too much that you're afraid that you would be disappointed.

i know how it feels when people keep telling you what to do and how much they hate you doing it. thats why i said what i should say and the rest is your own decision. u dont need another mother to tell u what to do.. u need a fren to understand and support you. unfortunately in this case, i really dont understand and i cant support you to do things your way. thats why i just wanna keep quiet and let u do watever you decide. you know why i never say ok when make you promise, i dont wanna see u break your promise tmr and that i would get all upset about it. hey its ur life, live it your way.

today, paul msg me on MSN and im really happy to hear from him. Get well soon and I pray for you a speedy recovery. I remember this from the Bible or somewhere, what God takes away from you, He can gives it back hundred times better. so Paul, stay strong because I am sure with ur faith in Jesus, you will be back to your old self, only hundred times better.

pick me.choose me.love me @* 9:10 AM
0 order of excitement, peppered with anticipation.

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Thursday, November 02, 2006

why are u such a fucking slut? why must u act as tho ur so fucking important? why must u seek attention that fucking way? why must u do that all the fuckin time? why must u flirt with the whole fucking world? im so sick n tired of ur fucking ways. i hate it when ppl just use me to know other ppl.. i hate it when u act all drama.. i hate it when u fucking flirt wiht my frenz for god sake.. i hate how u keep saying ur ugly and fat so tht i'll tell u fucking million times ur pretty and thin..

so tht u'll feel so much better and make me feel so fucking bad.. i hate how u act all innocent infront of guys.. i hate how u want attention so badly... i hate how u try to be friends with everyone just to prove how good u are.. i hate how u try so hard.. so hard that u are really stepping on my tail.. really.. why would someone pretend something like that? its so mean and awful.. why must u seek attention all the time u fucking bitch? how many times must you step on me so that u'll seems more pretty and thin? how many times must u say ur ugly so tht i would say ur pretty? why must u boast? why do i even care about u?

why would u want to be popular so badly? why must u lay ur hands on ppl i loved? why must u be such a fucking slut.. ppl like u.. should get a freaking life.. if u think a guy would like u just becos u keep flirting with them.. they onli wan to fuck u.. and how many times i must tell u this..go get fuck all u want and i dont even care.

pick me.choose me.love me @* 9:01 AM
0 order of excitement, peppered with anticipation.

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Randoms

random feeling[s]:
i guess i am really lucky.. i might not get everything i wish for.. but i have people that love me.. and i dint know that felt so good.. i have jeremy.. i love him and so fortunate for me, he loves me back.. and so sayang me.. the way he kiss my forehead, how he hold my hand and kiss them.. i guess i am really fortunate..omg i sound so dorky

we've been talking again.. that felt really really good..

random word[s]:
june, since u went back early today.. i dint have a chance to say " ur goin down! down town.." lol!

random thing[s]:
i had maggi mee today

random funny picture[s]:

pick me.choose me.love me @* 6:27 AM
0 order of excitement, peppered with anticipation.

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Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Isn’t it funny, how someone like urself would look down at someone like me when it comes to academic. i might not be Einstein smart but I know I’m not dumb. Dumb is when you think hot dogs are real dogs. See thats why I hate being labeled. Just because I don’t work as hard, revise as much or pay as much attention as you in class… that sums up that I’m a dumbfuck that smarty pants like you would totally crossed out on doing assignments together… u see, I get really irritated when ppl give me this fucking strange look when it comes to doing assignment together. Thinking that all I’ll do is screw up and drag them down. in my silent mind, I already fucking stab u for hundredssss of timesss.

I don’t blame you for being you but you cant blame me for hating it.

pick me.choose me.love me @* 6:38 AM
0 order of excitement, peppered with anticipation.

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